Fact: 4 out of 5 dentists recommend bisexuals. It is currently unclear what exactly they recommend bisexuals for, but nonetheless bisexuals are flattered

beachesaresalty Am I your hottest friend


I reblogged an honesty hour thing at some point, and an anti honesty thing, and I don’t know which this is for, so.

Honesty hour answer: You are ONE OF my hottest friends. All of you are too hot.

Anti-honesty hour: No. You’re not my hottest friend because you’re not my friend at all. I hate you. I’m dreading seeing you tomorrow. (Maybe.)

(I love you dad-friend.)




the satisfaction

One time in like 5th grade I had this teacher and she gave us all bottles of shit like this and told us to squeeze it all out and of course we were like fuck yeah and did it and then she said, “Now, try and shove it all back in the container.” Of course we all tried, and then stared at her confused as shit. When we all obviously gave up, she said, “In the moment, you were so consumed with what you were doing that you didn’t realize the mess you were making. Then, after it was so quickly and easily poured out, you realize it is impossible to put it all back in. Remember this for the rest of your lives when it comes to the words that come out of your mouth” and we were like 10 so we were like yeah ok whatever lady, but somehow to this day I think of it constantly. 

I don’t get it…when you talk does a stream a toothpaste fly out of your mouth? If so…are you an X-Man?

(Source: officialkirstie)